Living Consistent With a New Identity: Putting Aside Unhealthy Emotions

Discipleship Training Ministries, Inc.

Notes for the Ekklesia Meeting

Sundays @ 10:00 a.m. Info: (651) 283-0568 Discipleship Training Ministries, Inc

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Today’s Date: September 24, 2006

Living Consistent With a New Identity: Putting Aside Unhealthy Emotions

by Dan Trygg

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice." Eph. 4:31.

Again, it is essential that we see this remark set in the context of Paul's interest in helping the Ephesians to develop healthy Body-life, and in helping them to understand how to "put off the old person" and to "put on the new person. This is not just a command. It is not a "thou shalt not" in isolation from any context. The apostle gives us this background setting so that we can understand this imperative in a healthy way, ...and so that we can begin to understand how we might approach this whole area of emotion.

The first, and most evident, observation is that these are all emotions and expressions of anger. What is anger? Anger is a natural inner response to something that is hurtful or invasive coming into our lives. Anger can be a good thing. It is an involuntary emotional reaction to pain, or the threat of pain. As an emotion, it provides motivation to act to somehow resolve an unpleasant experience. Some psychologists refer to emotions as "energy in motion", energy that arises naturally from within in the face of threat, hurt, or perceived mistreatment of some kind. In this simple way, anger can be a healthy, beneficial emotion that serves a very positive purpose in our lives. Just five verses earlier, Paul was advocating, even commanding, these same individuals to "get angry", ...so experiencing the emotion of anger is not the problem he is attempting to address.

What is the problem? Most of these words listed refer to ways of dealing with, or expressing, the simple emotion of anger. I think the issue Paul wants to address has to do with, "What do I do with the angry feelings I experience?" Let's take a closer look at some of these words:

(1.) "bitterness" -- the Greek word, pikria, comes from a root word meaning "to cut, to prick", referring literally to a cutting, sharp, pointed, keen, pungent experience to the taste or smell, a decidedly unpleasant, irritating and repugnant experience (Jas. 3:11; Rev. 8:11; used in the LXX for "bitter herbs" in Ex. 12:8; Num. 9:11). Metaphorically, it is used to describe an equally distasteful, unpleasant attitude or emotional state (Jas. 3:14; Heb. 12:15; Acts 8:23; Rom. 3:13,14; Mt. 26:75; Col. 3:19). We must draw a further distinction between life experiences that "taste bitter", i.e., they are pointedly pungent, repugnant painful events that happen "to us", and we experience that revolting bitter flavor of that pain, versus a person who has become bitter. A person who has become bitter is generally nursing their sense of anger, resentment, or outrage at being unfairly treated. Instead of processing their painful, bitter experiences, they continue to hold on to them, reliving them and rehearsing their outrage and resentment, until the flavor of their own attitude, speech, and behavior is full of bitterness. They themselves become rank, noxious, or poisonous to others. People will either be repelled by them, and quickly turn away from them or avoid them (which they will notice, and which will serve to only build deeper hurts, feelings of rejection and resentment), ...or people will identify with their bitter feelings and begin themselves to be embittered, spreading the poison to others (Heb. 12:15).

(2.) "wrath" -- this is the Greek word, thumos, referring to a type of anger that is quickly burning, hot, and often issues in an outburst or explosion of rage. One's agitated inner feelings pour out in a rush of strong passion, much like the eruption of a volcano. Often, once vented, it quickly subsides, though not necessarily. Everywhere in the NT, when it is used of human emotion, it is presented negatively.

(3.) "anger" -- the Greek word, orgē, a settled, abiding intent of the mind to confront, resolve, set right, or take revenge upon someone who is perceived as invasive, hurtful, unjust, or unfair to oneself or others. It is more slow to rise that is thumos, but it is more lasting in nature. It tends to be more deliberate, and controlled, as well. For this reason, it can be more productive toward bringing about a good result, though it is not above selfishness, either. This is the same kind of anger that Paul commanded the Ephesians to employ in vs. 26.

(4.) "clamor" -- the word kraugē in NT Greek is an onomatopoeic word, said to imitate the cry of a raven. It was used for a variety of loud verbal outcries, from wails of lamentation (Rev. 21:4), to cries for help (e.g., Heb. 5:7), to a proclamation (Mt. 9:27; 25:6), to a cry of fright (Mt. 14:26). Here, in this context, it probably refers to angry shouting, or raising voices in an argument.

(5.) "slander" -- the Greek word, blasphēmia, from which we derive the English word, "blasphemy", comes from the Greek, blapto (to injure or harm) and phēmē (speech), . It literally means "injurious speech", referring to any damaging, shaming, contemptuous speech toward another. To call people names, to "downgrade" them, to verbally abuse them in any way, is what this word is describing. It can be done to the person directly (as in verbal abuse), or about the person to others (i.e., slander or defamation of character).

(6.) "malice" -- the Greek word is kakia, and it is related to kakos, a very broad word for evil. Generally the opposite of excellence and virtue, it refers to what is useless, inadvisable, injurious, destructive, and mischievous. It refers more to the badness of quality, inner character, or nature of the person than to the outward actions or results. Kakia generally refers more to ill-will, hateful feelings, and the inner desire to injure or "get back" at someone.

So, what is Paul really teaching here? The verb in this sentence is a passive imperative, the action directed more toward the emotions, and only secondarily toward us: "let [it] be put away from you". Actually, the verb means "to lift, carry, remove, take up". It is followed by the prepositional phrase "away from y'all". What the apostle is telling us is to permit or allow these negative emotions and attitudes to be lifted away from us. The opposite of "let [it] be taken away" would be to not allow it to be removed, i.e., by holding onto it, or resisting, in some fashion. Interesting. Why would we hold onto such things? Remember the context. This entire section is the application of what Paul had developed in vss. 17-24, concerning learning to put off old strategies of living that we formerly employed when we lived as "practical atheists", and learning to put on an entirely new identity, an new life dynamic that includes God, ...one that requires that we renew our perception of reality and discover how to operate in this world by very different principles. This verse is more of the application of that truth. Why do we hold on to such negative, pain-filled emotion? Because it is what we know how to do. Because we have not learned how to live differently.

There is another prepositional phrase, which has unfortunately been poorly translated, which helps to tie all of this together. The phrase, "...along with all malice", sounds like Paul just added one more negative attitude to the list of emotions and dispositions in the verse. The Greek preposition, sun, literally means "together with", and the word translated as "malice" means the evil inner character, the hostile desire to injure those who have offended or hurt us. What Paul is teaching is that we can allow these negative emotions to be taken away from us together with all inner evil, i.e., in the application of "new-creation living". Put off the old person, with its former practices and attitudes, and put on the new person, a person with a different, good inner character.

Now, we tend to hear this as, "Stop feeling those negative emotions!" In reality, however, the way Paul is writing is assuming that we will experience them. How can we allow them to be taken away, if they do not exist in our experience in the first place? Our emotions are not voluntary. They are automatic responses to the appearance of the world around us, usually based upon our past experiences. In other words, our past experiences often have set us up to respond to certain triggers, things in the present that "look like" or "feel like" things that happened to us in the past. These "trigger events" will cause an emotional reaction to surface. It will come up automatically, ...we do not choose to feel it. This is important to understand. To feel strong emotional feelings does not mean that we are not spiritual, or that we are being disobedient in any way. It is like any other temptation that is presented to us. We do not choose it, but we must deal with it. What Paul says we ought to do is allow these emotions to be taken away with all the other "old man stuff" that we set aside in order to walk in our new identity. It is interesting to see that he did not simply say, "Put those emotions aside!" In reality, we simply cannot do that. We must process them. We must address them. To will ourselves to ignore them, is like willing yourself to not feel that a stove is hot. It is not possible. The emotions are there to tell us something. They are there to warn us, to bring to our attention something that is hurting, or potentially a problem, that must be dealt with.

How do we do this? By reorienting our perspective to include God

, our loving Father Who cares for us, and will comfort us, ...Who has promised to work all things [even the painful, abusive, and unfair things] together for good, ...Who will vindicate us and bring about justice, and will ultimately wipe away every tear from our eyes (Rev. 21:4).

When we let Him be in charge, when we let Him be our help, our emotions will automatically begin to change, because our perception of reality is different.

Two other observations:

(1.) The verb tense indicates a point-of-time action. This doesn't mean it will all be settled in a moment. What it means is that we must choose to reorient and process this emotion "at the moment, in the moment, and for the moment". We can't choose now for tomorrow. It may come up again, and we will have to deal with it again.

(2.) Even the proper anger, orgē,

mentioned in vs. 26, is not to be "lived with". We are to deal with what it is pointing out to us (i.e., the offense or injustice), and then "let it be taken away", so we can move on in the joy of the Lord.

Living Consistent With Our New Identity: Be Angry and Do Not Sin

Discipleship Training Ministries, Inc.

Notes for the Ekklesia Meeting

Sundays @ 10:00 a.m. Info: (651) 283-0568 Discipleship Training Ministries, Inc

www.dtminc.org

Today’s Date: September 17, 2006

Living Consistent With Our New Identity: Be Angry and Do Not Sin

by Dan Trygg

For those of us who have not understood the benefits of anger, or have not appreciated its "God-like" characteristics, the subject of anger makes us a bit uncomfortable. If we were raised in a cultural background, that has taught us that expressions of anger, or even the emotion of anger itself, were taboo, then we may have difficulty allowing ourselves to "get in touch" with our own anger in a clear and beneficial way. If we have spent most of our lives attempting to suppress, control, and even deny this emotion, then we can expect that we will find it somewhat strange to now "tune in" to those feelings. We may even find that our "tuner" needs some readjustment, because we don't clearly perceive the anger that we have. If our church background communicated to us that "being angry" was synonymous with a lack of self-control and was "unspiritual", then Paul's words to us here in Ephesians 4:26 are going to sound out of place, and will be hard for us to interpret and process clearly.

The truth is that, for the sake of personal spiritual maturity and for the purpose of producing healthy, effective relationships in the Body of Christ, the apostle Paul was an advocate of healthy anger. More than that, he expressly commands us to "be angry". Since there is no basis for the "yet" in the NASB rendering, "be angry and yet do not sin", the phrase actually may be teaching that we will sin if we do not get angry! In other words, Paul is trying to encourage the Ephesian Christians to make use of the motivations of a healthy anger to get things out in the open that need to be addressed. He is not qualifying anger, here, he is advocating its correct use. He is not trying to "put a lid on anger", rather he wants Christians to "take the lid off" to examine and understand what the anger is there for, and to confront what needs confrontation.

Even though there is much teaching in certain church circles that downplays, devalues, or even discourages "feeling emotions", a simple, cursory reading of the Bible should make us aware that emotions are very much a part of the nature and experience of God Himself. Instead of rejecting emotions as bad, or dangerous, we should recognize that they are, in fact, one very important aspect of our "God-likeness". Being created in the image of God not only means that we were made with an intellectual capacity to understand and communicate with God, or a volitional capacity by which we can choose to relate to Him and express His will in action. We also have been created with an emotional capacity, by which we can not only appreciate and experience God's goodness, but we can also become a means by which we can express God-like characteristics in relationships. Anger, and other emotions, are part of the marvelous way in which God created us to bear and express His image. To disregard, or dis-employ, them is to hide, cover, and distort the likeness of God which we have been created to express. This actually robs God of the "glory" (radiance, emanating representation, reputation) which He intends to be demonstrated and expressed through humanity. To strip us of our emotional qualities forces us to live at what is a sub-human level of existence. We cannot accurately represent or glorify God without fully-functioning, healthy, expressive emotions. Anger is certainly one of them.

Three Types of Anger

In the NT, there are three basic root words which are used to describe anger.

Briefly, they are:

(1.) Orgē (pronounced "or-gay"). Originally the word was used to describe any natural desire, impulse or disposition, but by NT times, it had come to refer to anger as the strongest of all passions. This noun form occurs some 36 times in the NT, 28 times of God's wrath toward sinful men - Mt. 3:7; Mk. 3:5; Lk. 3:7; 21:23; Jn. 3:36; Rom. 1:18; 2:5 (2x),8; 3:5; 4:15; 5:9; 9:22 (2x); 12:19; 13:4,5; Eph. 2:3, 4:31; 5:6; Col. 3:6,8; I Thess. 1:10; 2:16; 5:9; I Tim. 2:8; Heb. 3:11; 4:3; Jas. 1:19,20; Rev. 6:16,17; 11:18; 14:10; 16:19; 19:15. In addition, the verbal form, orgizomai, occurs on 8 more occasions, all descriptive of human anger - Mt. 5:22; 18:34; 22:7; Lk. 14:21; 15:28; Eph. 4:26; Rev. 11:18; 12:17. There is also an adjectival form, orgilos, which is found in Tit. 1:7. Orgē refers to a mental bent or impulse to act against some invasion upon a person by another, or to act to right a wrong, or bring vengeance upon some injustice.

(2.) Thumos, a noun, occurs 18 times in the NT - Lk. 4:28; Acts 19:28; Rom. 2:8; II Cor. 12:20; Gal. 5:20; Eph. 4:31; Col. 3:8; Heb. 11:27; Rev. 12:12; 14:8,10,19; 15:1,7; 16:1,19: 18:3; 19:15. In addition, a verbal form, thumoō, occurs once in Mt. 2:16. Of these, eight times it is used to describe the wrath of God poured out in explosive judgment at the end of the age. All other occurrences are presented as undesirable, though we must conclude that there at least could be a righteous, appropriate expression of this kind of anger, since God Himself will do so at the proper time.

{Interestingly, the most common word for patience in the NT is makrothumia (lit. "distance from explosive [thumos] anger). This is the word also used in the Greek Septuagint version of the OT to translate the quality of God's character rendered as "slow to anger". The Hebrew word for this actually means "long of nostrils", which again means "distance from explosive anger".}

The word, thumos, is derived from thuo, meaning "to rush". Thumos is, then, a strong passion or emotion which rushes upon, or out from, a person. (A derivative form, epithumia [lit. "a rushing upon"] is the word translated as "strong desire, passion, or lust".) By NT times, the word had come to be used almost exclusively for anger. Thumos refers to a rapid swelling of agitated inner feelings of rage, which quickly blaze up, are explosive and powerful in their expression, and then quickly subside. The problem with this kind of anger is the unpredictable, explosive force with which it can come. It can quickly burn out of control, and be "out of perspective" and "inappropriate to the situation" because of the extreme force which often is behind it. The word itself is descriptive of one's inner emotional experience, while the focus of the word, orgē, is more descriptive of the intent or desire to act to resolve the situation. Thumos is more an impulsive reaction, while orgē is more a settled condition of the mind.

(3.) Aganaktēsis originally referred to having physical pain or irritation. By NT times, however, it had come to mean the experience of emotional pain, irritation, hurt, or grief over an action or situation judged to be wrong, unfair or inappropriate resulting in annoyance, displeasure, anger and indignation. Note that, while orgē is a mental bent to act, and thumos is an explosive reaction, aganaktēsis is descriptive only of one’s inner experience of irritation or displeasure. The word itself communicates nothing about response. The noun occurs once, in II Cor. 7:11, while the verbal form, aganakteō, occurs 7 times - Mt. 20:24; 21:15; 26:8; Mk. 10:14,41; 14:4; Lk. 13:14. Mark 10:14 and II Corinthians 7:11 give us clear examples where this type of anger can motivate positive action. This is the proper response to the inner pain or irritation. In one scenario (Mt.20:24; Mk. 10:41), the irritation was held inside. Jesus saw it, however, and chose to address the issue. In most of the other examples, the indignation did motivate some expression to confront, question or challenge the action that caused the irritation, although the emotion was misguided by a poor understanding. In fact, in those cases where others were irritated with Him, Jesus also spoke up to clarify or correct their perception. Their irritation became an opportunity or occasion for Him to speak to the matter.

Anger As A Tool For Growth

In our context of Ephesians 4:26, the choice of the word orgizomai indicates an intent to act to resolve whatever problem has caused an offense. The form of the word here is in the middle voice, which means the subject does the action, but it in some way affects or limits him. This is often understood as acting "to or for oneself". In other words, it is not just some outward act. The act of getting angry in this fashion profoundly involves the person. He or she voluntarily acts in a way that limits, influences, affects or benefits him or herself. That makes sense. Note, too, that this is a verb, a chosen action, not just a feeling. The feeling comes up in response to the offense, and then you choose to embrace or respond to the feeling. In other words, you do not just let the offense go by, you get involved. You get out of your comfort zone to speak what is on your heart. You take a risk to act, to make right what you see is wrong, ...to put up a boundary where someone has hurt you, or someone else. You resolve an inner conflict by bringing it up with another person to work it out. You will be affected by that process. You put yourself at risk, you do what may be difficult, but you also benefit from "getting it out on the table".

It is important to see that Paul did not use thumoō. He did not advocate that we explode at each other, or that we erupt like a volcano on each other. That kind of explosive rage is not profitable to create reconciliation. The orgē, however, is meant to be our ally in promoting healthy relationships, and emotional and spiritual maturity. It provides a signal to us that something is wrong. We have been offended or outraged at something that we felt was wrong. It is not only OK to feel those feelings, we are commanded to feel them and move on them, in some way. The emotion of this kind of anger is meant to propel us into action. Now, we still have a mind and a will, here. We still have to evaluate and decide how to respond appropriately to the situation. We are responsible to express ourselves respectfully and lovingly, for growth and edification.

The point of Paul's command, however, is: Do something about it! Do not "stuff" what you are feeling. Resolve it. It could be that you will be the one to benefit by bringing it up, or, it could be an issue that someone else needs your perspective on. It may be something that the Holy Spirit wants to communicate His heart to the Body, etc. Nothing beneficial will happen, however, if you do not move to resolve the inner feelings of anger you feel. The next phrase, "do not let the sun go down on your wrath", uses a different word for anger, one which literally means, "the thing that provoked the anger". Do not let the sun go down on the provoking offense. Deal with it. It is for the good of all, and it keeps the devil from finding a foothold in you, or in the relationships of the Body.

Living Consistent With Our New Identity: Speaking What is Healthy

Discipleship Training Ministries, Inc.

Notes for the Ekklesia Meeting

Sundays @ 10:00 a.m. Info: (651) 283-0568 Discipleship Training Ministries, Inc

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Today’s Date: September 10, 2006

Living Consistent With Our New Identity: Speaking What is Healthy

by Dan Trygg

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, rather if any is good toward edification of the need, ...in order that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption."

Eph. 4:29,30

This is the first time, in this context about intercommunication among members of the Body, that Paul finds it necessary to specifically address the need to restrain or limit what we say to each other. Up until this point, his concern was to encourage us to open up and share ourselves, and our concerns, honestly with each other. We have masqueraded so long behind a false front that we need to learn how to open up and "be real" with each other. The truth is, however, that most of us have learned by painful experience that it has been unsafe to "be real" in this way. We originally designed our facade to protect ourselves from those who would misuse our vulnerability to hurt us. The world has not been a safe, nurturing place, ...a place where we could share our pain, insecurities, or inner thoughts without fear of ridicule, reprisal, or rejection. It was inevitable that if the Body of Christ is to be such a place, there must be limitations placed upon how we talk with each other, as well as on the content of our interaction. In addition, as a community of people attempting to live out the reality of the "new-person dynamic" in our lives, this directive by Paul helps to clarify for us what the characteristics of this new life would look like (as well as what it would not look like). He does this to enable us to learn to walk in the flow coming from the Holy Spirit abiding within us.

As we have mentioned before, the entire paragraph, beginning in 4:25 and proceeding through 5:2, was comprised of applications of what Paul had covered in 4:17-24. There he had encouraged the Ephesian Christians to no longer live as people who do not know God choose to live out their lives. Instead, put aside the old way of life, with its unproductive practices, and learn to walk in the new life God has put within our hearts. There is both a negative and a positive aspect of what Paul teaches regarding "living the Christian life". There is a "putting off" aspect, and there is a "putting on" aspect. There is a learning to "not do" what we have always done before, or what we may be tempted to do now, that is not of God, ...and there is a learning how to "do" what we have not been accustomed, or skilled at, doing. There is a measure of self-restraint, or self-control, involved in both aspects, but it is important to see that the Christian life is not simply about self-restraint, which would be tantamount to legalism, and would leave us wallowing in the swamp of self-effort. Instead, it is about realignment. It is about discovering how to tune into and catch the character, leading and flow of the Spirit of Christ which is in us (if we belong to Jesus – Gal. 4:6; Rom. 8:9,15) and learning to express ourselves in accordance with that. It does involve the abandonment and "disowning" of the old behavior and mindset, as well as "putting on", "owning", or "incorporating" a new mindset, and a new relationship with God. The inner leadings coming from the indwelling Holy Spirit will naturally suggest, and produce, different outward behavior as we choose to give ourselves to walking them out. The topic of the verses we are looking at today must be seen in light of this larger picture, in order to be correctly understood and processed.

The word translated as "unwholesome" is the Greek word, sapros, which literally means, "rotten" or "putrid", but often was metaphorically used to describe anything that was corrupt, impure, foul, vicious, or depraved. It also was used to describe things that were bad, or of poor quality, and generally unfit for use. It is in this latter way that Jesus used the word in the Gospels (Matt. 7:17,18; 12:33; Lk. 6:43; and Matt. 13:48). These are the only other instances of this word occurring in the NT. For anyone familiar with Jesus' teaching, the connection would not be missed. The entire point of Jesus' instruction in the contexts of Matt. 7:17,18; 12:33 and in Lk. 6:43 is that a person's real heart will be made evident in their actions. He uses the word picture of a tree to illustrate the principle: "A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits." In this Matt. 7 passage, the thrust of His teaching was about those who would masquerade as genuine prophets, but are in reality phony. Eventually, their true nature and orientation will surface. In the Matt. 12 context, Jesus is dealing with the issue of speech (as Paul does here in Eph. 4), especially as it regards blaspheming the Holy Spirit, or Himself. On this occasion, there is a small shift in what He has to say, "Either make the tree good, and its fruit good; or make the tree rotten, and its fruit rotten; for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. The good person out from good treasure brings forth what is good; and the evil person out of evil treasure brings forth what is evil." Again, the true nature of a person is revealed by their actions. (Thus, our speech reveals if we are in tune with the Spirit, or living out of our old fleshly nature.) Note, however, that speech comes from the treasure of the heart. It is a product of our experiences, especially whatever we have seen as valuable and have "stored away" within.

As new creatures in Christ, the application of these principles is clear:

(1.)

We have been born from above, and have been made new. Our new nature in Christ is good, and (according to Jesus' teaching) will naturally produce what is good in speech and behavior (Rom. 6:11; 7:4; I Jn. 3:9), if we learn to walk in it.

(2.) We may still have "evil treasure"

, i.e., old speech and behavior patterns that we learned in our B.C. days, that remains part of our mind (perception of reality). This must be recognized, and our perception of reality must be renewed, in order to practically "put off" the old person and learn to walk in our new nature.

(3.)

This transformation process involves revelation (from the Holy Spirit, self-awareness, and from the feedback of others), learning different options, and making different choices. A partnership between God, ourselves, and others is required to bring about the quickest, most effective changes in thought and behavior.

(4.)

An important step in this process is exactly what Paul is advocating here: Do not give yourself to express the unhealthy, "garbage-behavior" anymore (Rom. 6:12-23). Don't even let a word from that old source, that old storehouse, come out from your mouth. Why? Because when you do that, you are reconnecting with that old identity, that "old program", instead of your new identity, your new inner source of direction (the Holy Spirit) and your new character of established life-patterns (II Pet. 1:5-7). [Important: God is less concerned about how our sin may be offensive to Him than He is about the set-backs, bondage and further injury we cause to ourselves and others by choosing old behaviors. Through it all, His heart remains steadfastly committed in love toward us. His resolve is to fully deliver us from every remnant of evil in our lives. He knows He will win in the end. Do not allow failures to distance you from Him. Without Him, we can do nothing. Cf. Jn. 15:5.] We are not to think in terms of "act good in order to become good". Rather, Paul is exhorting us to "act as the new, good person you really are". We are not "acting in order to become something we are not", rather we are acting consistent with the change which has already been accomplished in us, i.e., acting in agreement with who we really are on the inside.

The phrase, "Let no unwholesome word come out from your mouth" means that Paul puts the unavoidable responsibility upon us to be in charge of our own words. Though translated negatively, the Greek is actually stated in direct, positive terms: "Every rotten (sapros) word not (y'all) let it come out from the mouth of y'all". "Every unwholesome word" is all inclusive. Anything that would be unhealthy, or of inferior quality, is to be excluded. "Rather, if anything good (healthy, beneficial, advantageous) towards edification of the need" -- This phrase gives some positive direction to our thinking. Instead of being unhealthy and destructive, is there anything that could be said that would strengthen, or build up, the lack (need, want, hurt, vulnerability, weakness) of the other person(s)? For further clarification, Paul adds, "in order that [purpose clause] it may give (at a point in time) grace (graciousness, favor, unmerited favor, kindness, blessing -- It is the same word as is used to describe God's grace.) among the ones hearing". If we say anything, it should be something that would bring about an openness of heart, a feeling of acceptance, a "binding-together" and "building-up" where there is a sense of emptiness, need or want, ...the exact opposite of the effect of "unwholesome words". The idiom "to give grace" commonly meant "doing a kindness to someone", implying action going above and beyond the call of duty.

"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God". What is the purpose of this statement? How could we grieve the Holy Spirit? The word "grieve", also means to "injure" or "pain". The fact of the matter is that we can cause pain, grief and injury to the Holy Spirit. How? Because this verse is linked to the previous verse, it would seem that we grieve Him when (a.) we walk in old, destructive, sinful patterns; and (b.) we hurt one another, causing isolation, division, estrangement, and the cementing of old sinful strategies of self-protection. Again, the whole purpose of Body-life is to enable the interactive dynamic that allows Jesus to be most clearly and visibly seen, i.e., through our love for one another (Jn. 13:34,35; Eph. 4:15). We have all been "sealed" together in Him, bought and kept by the same grace and on the same terms for the purpose of freedom, yet our words and actions continue to express and inflict the evil Jesus came to deliver us from. When we continue to hurt one another by our unkind remarks, or when our words reinforce old attitudes and thought patterns that keep us "stuck", is it no wonder that He is grieved that we continue to hurt ourselves and frustrate the plan of God?

Living Consistent With Our New Identity: Speaking Truth in the Body

Discipleship Training Ministries, Inc.

Notes for the Ekklesia Meeting

Sundays @ 10:00 a.m. Info: (651) 283-0568 Discipleship Training Ministries, Inc

www.dtminc.org

Today’s Date: September 3, 2006

Living Consistent With Our New Identity: Speaking Truth in the Body

by Dan Trygg

"But truthing in love, we might grow all things into Him who is the head (i.e., the source and one who bring us to completion), Christ…" Ephesians 4:15

"Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you, with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity." Ephesians 4:25-27

Following down from Eph. 4:17-24, let’s see how Paul seeks to implement our new identity experientially.

"Therefore" -- This is a logical connector indicating that what Paul is about to write flows out of what he has already written. Whenever you see a "therefore", ask yourself, "What is it there for?" This is not the most common word translated as "therefore". Literally it means "on account of which". It even more closely ties this section back to vss. 17-24 as the application of the principles taught there, ...specifically -- "walk no longer as the Gentiles walk..." and "put off the old person, …be renewed in…your mind, and put on the new person…". Paul had described a manner of living life that the unbelievers had practiced (vss. 17-19), an approach to life that is inconsistent with our new birth and walking in the Spirit (vss. 20-24). Now, he is getting down to specific application of how to walk out "truth in Jesus". Now the nitty gets gritty.

"laying aside falsehood" -- A literal translation would be, "(for yourselves)-putting-away-from-you-(at a point in time) the phony...". The form indicates that we are intensely involved in this action, and it affects or limits us, in some way. The "point in time" quality of the form means that we are to deal with it "at the moment, in the moment, and for the moment". The action prescribed is a one-time event. Paul does not say we should always and forever be doing this, ...that would be too much for us. Nor, does he say that we can make a choice in the moment that will settle this issue once and for all. No, what he tells us is that when it comes up, put it aside at that moment, in that moment, and for that moment. That is as much as we can do. This is a form of the same word used in vs. 22 for "put off the old person". The logical connection is inescapable. This is how we do that.

The word translated as "falsehood" is the Greek word pseudō. Paul is not talking so much about telling lies as he is concerned about our tendency to be phony, to wear a mask, to project an image or "false front" to impress others, or to keep ourselves hidden, safe, in-vulnerable. The apostle encourages us to "put aside the mask" with each other. Now you can understand why this is an action that intensely involves and affects us. We have created our "mask" to hide our weakness, our hurts, our defects, our fears. To take off that mask is to expose ourselves, to "come out into the light of day as we really are". The verbal form is a participle, an "-ing" word that is not the main verb, rather it is an action we do as or while we do the main verb. The two actions are inter-related. In other words, as we put aside the phoniness, we can speak what is real to one another.

"speak truth each one with his neighbor" -- There is an important shift that takes place in the language here that is hidden in our English translations. The context of the action moves from everybody ("y'all speak truth"), where the entire group is in focus, to shift over to a context that can only be described as very personal and private ("each one with his neighbor"). In other words, the appropriate context for speaking truth, in the manner that Paul is suggesting, is primarily at the personal-relationship level. Why? First of all, it is "safer". You can more effectively monitor the reaction of the person with whom you share your thoughts, and can adjust what you share accordingly. If you expose yourself entirely to a large group, you run the risk of being mistreated by certain unhealthy individuals that may be in the group. Secondly, truth is more effective on a personal level. The interaction can be very specific. Application will likely be more readily apparent than the "shotgun approach" that a group teaching would require.

This is reinforced by the use of the word "neighbor". In English, this word is a noun that most people understand as "the person who lives next door to you". In the New Testament Greek, however, the word is a translation of an adverbial phrase, literally a "neighbor" is "the near (one) ". This is, indeed, commonly used for someone living nearby (spatial proximity), but we too narrowly limit the term to just that. Jesus' parable of the Good Samaritan (Lk. 10:30-37) was given in response to the question, "Who is my neighbor?". There, the conclusion was that the "neighbor" to be loved was anyone in proximity who had a need. Furthermore, the despised Samaritan was the only one who "proved to be a neighbor" to the hurt traveler, because he "felt compassion and came to him" and served him. The idea of availability seems to be the point at issue in defining who proves to be a neighbor to you. Someone who will value you enough to help you, even at great personal cost, is someone available and willing to be "near" you in your time of need. That is someone demonstrating himself to be a true neighbor. The Samaritan showed that it is possible to "act the part of the near one" without any relationship history there at all. Love can motivate us to "draw near to" someone, even when we do not have the natural factors of day-in and day-out interaction and familiarity. The basis for our "nearness? -- "because we are members of one another". More than simply living next door to someone, we all are like limbs in the same body (Rom. 12:4,5; I Cor. 12:12-27). (Note this is an actual, organic, spiritual unity, …like a limb on a tree or a part of your body…, not a listing on a membership roll.) The words "of one another" translate a reflexive pronoun in Greek. What that means is that the relationship described is reciprocal. You are a limb of me, and I am a limb of you. Thus, we have a common basis of interaction, and a common interest in helping each other. Your health, vitality, and maturity will affect me, and my health and well-being will affect you (I Cor. 12:26). We are interdependent. The focus turns to the corporate reality once again.

(In spite of the high-minded ideals that I have just described, we would be foolish to ignore the obvious. There are "near ones" in life. We can, and often do, develop relationships with some people that provide a safe, natural environment for "letting down the mask" and "speaking truth". A "near one" in this context would be someone we have developed "relational proximity" with, i.e., we have gotten "close to" them. Sometimes this creates an environment where "we can talk about anything", i.e., there is a natural "ease" in communicating. At other times, we choose to put ourselves into "relational proximity" with someone that we otherwise might not "hang out with" (e.g., a mentor or counselor) for the purpose of accountability and growth. Hopefully, such "near ones" will truly help us grow. Some of these relationships may actually keep us stuck in old or immature behavior. We may find ourselves easily talking about and rehearsing old, fleshly attitudes and behaviors. This is not helping us. We need friends who will help us grow and mature in Christ, not keep reinforcing old ways of thinking and living. Others may direct us in ways that are contradictory to the things of God. Their counsel is from the world, not God. Sometimes we will need to distance ourselves from "near ones" who are at cross purposes to our growth in Christ. This can be difficult, but is necessary.)

What does it mean to "speak truth"? (Note that it does not say, "speak the truth". Paul is not talking about rehearsing Bible verses or engaging in theological discussion here. Same with Eph. 4:15 -- Literally, "truthing in love", not "speaking the truth".) The word for "truth" is actually a negated form of the word for something hidden, unnoticed, ...something that is actually there, but has not been perceived, or has been ignored. To speak truth, then, is to bring the hidden thing out into the open, ...to point out and explain what has been overlooked, ...to take note of what was unnoticed, to bring to awareness what the person did not perceive, or ignored. It is important to see that what is "truth", or what is "reality", already exists, whether we are aware of it or not. Speaking truth is simply pointing out what actually is there, not making something up, or somehow creating something that did not previously exist. With regard to ourselves, it is being honest about what is going on inside of us, or about what is real about our lives.

"Be angry, and yet do not sin" -- I think it is absolutely fascinating that this verse is the further application of what Paul has been building in the previous verse. Emotional honesty, bringing out into the open feelings of anger that have been unseen, unnoticed, or "covered over" by our mask of phoniness, is the first, most important and urgent application that the seasoned, Spirit-led apostle advocated concerning "speaking truth". Paul wants us to bring our hidden feelings out into the open. He wants those who have not noticed them to see them clearly. There are two parts to this equation: On the one hand, we who feel hurt or angry need to be able to express our pain in order to be understood and comforted. On the other hand, we who have been insensitive and hurtful need to see what the consequences of our words and actions are. We are the ones who are not seeing the truth clearly. We are oblivious to, or in denial of, the pain we cause to others. Both parties are to benefit from an honest exchange. The relationship is to be deepened as the result. The goal is to come to resolution. Healthy anger is not a license to strike out, but it does provide motivation to speak up where we have been offended. God wants true harmony, not pretense.

You will notice that the word "yet" is in italics in the NASB. It is not there in Greek. Literally, Paul commands us, "Y'all (for yourselves) be angry and do not miss-the-target". In my background, anger was a negative emotion that was disapproved of. I have always understood this verse as putting a cap on my anger, as reinforcing the messages that I learned growing up. I am suggesting, however, that Paul is advocating exactly the opposite. Anger can be our ally in promoting healthy relationships and in molding godly character. What I believe this verse to be saying is, "Be honest, ... be angry and do not miss out on what the anger is to produce." We sin, we miss-the-mark, by covering up our anger. Paul is encouraging us to no longer hide it behind a mask, but to make use of our anger as the tool God intended it to be. Anger is there to tell you something is wrong that needs to be addressed. As we speak honestly, and respectfully, about our feelings, hopefully we will help one another work through the issues behind our anger, and we will grow as a result. In order to have harmony, we must communicate in love, respect one another, and listen. If we cover up our anger, the offense goes unaddressed, bitterness grows, and the enemy can fracture our relationships. We must work through our concerns, so that the enemy cannot find a way to cause division (Eph. 4:27).