Dealing With Offenses In The Body

Notes for the Ekklesia Meeting
Sundays @ 10:00 a.m. Info: (651) 283-0568 www.dtminc.org Today’s Date: November 6, 2005

Dealing With Offenses In The Body
by Dan Trygg

"If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.” Matt. 18:15

Last time, we talked about the rivalry which was going on among the disciples. Apparently, there may have been some jealousy over the way Peter seemed to be advancing beyond the rest of the group. Or, Peter himself may have been inflating his own importance, and the others were grumbling and feeling resentful about his boasting. When they asked Jesus who was the greatest among them, the Lord rebuked them for their selfish ambition. He then talked about how those who would be great in the kingdom will become least of all and would be concerned to help and assist the weak, not judge or abuse them. He especially warned about causing others to stumble or despising them (vss.6-10). They must value even the very least, enough to pursue them if they wander.

What if they should catch someone in sin, or if someone should sin against them? What are they to do? The correction and restoration of a brother or sister, and the hope of healthy relationships, is what the remainder of Jesus’ discourse in this chapter is about. Often this passage is taught as being about “church discipline”. Let me emphatically say that such an interpretation wholly misses the point. The reason for this will become apparent as we work through the passage.

Jesus sets up the scenario, “But if your brother sins…”. Note that the phrase “against you” is not in the best manuscripts. In other words, the sin may not be directed against you personally. You merely observe it, or become aware of it in some other way. What is your responsibility?

First, “Go and show him his fault in private.” You don’t talk about the person behind his or her back. You don’t go get a group to approach this person from the get-go. You certainly do not bring it up in a gathering at church. You respect the person enough to come to them individually and privately. “Love covers (or, bears with) all things” (I Cor. 13:7). “Love covers a multitude of sins” (I Pet. 4:8). “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions” (Prov. 10:12). “He who conceals a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends” (Prov. 17:9). The scripture is clear. We should do our best to not expand the circle of those who know about the offense.

Too often we want to either vent our anger to someone, and fall into gossip and slander, or we want to get someone else to confront the person. We become spiritual “tattle-tales”, and try to enlist a pastor or other leader to do the difficult job of confrontation and exposure of the sin. Sorry, in the kingdom of God, our heavenly Father wants us to grow up and become able to work through conflict with others. We will never develop these skills if we continually avoid confrontation. He will go with us and help us, if we are humble and spiritually-minded. Galatians 6:1 tells us that if anyone is caught in a trespass we who are spiritual ought to restore such a person in a spirit of humility and gentleness, looking to ourselves, lest we, too, are tempted. That is not a cop out, allowing us to pass our responsibility on to others who are more mature. It is an admonition that we had better get spiritually tuned in before we go to talk with our brother or sister. If we are angry or resentful, or want to attack the other person, then our heart is not right, and our meeting will likely explode into an argument. We need to examine ourselves, also, to see what part we may have played in the conflict. Jesus told us to first “take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matt. 7:5).

Look at Hebrews 12:14-17. It is addressed to everyone in the Body. Note that we are to pursue two things: peace and holiness. It is not peace at all costs, but peace and holiness together, at the same time. The beginning of vs. 15 is translated as “see to it” in the NASB, but the Greek word is “overseeing”. What are we to be overseeing? That no one misses God’s grace, that no bitterness springs up, that there be no immorality or godlessness in the Body. In other words, it is everyone’s responsibility to keep watch over each other. This is not about control or repression, but love. Note vs. 16,17. When Esau finally came to value his birthright, it was too late. He missed his opportunity, and could not get it back. The same is true for all of us. Satan is doing all he can to keep us stuck in old behaviors and sin. Fleshly lusts and old thinking wage war against our spiritual growth (I Pet. 2:12), and keep us from coming into what God has for us. If we love each other, if we love God and want to see His purposes come into fruition in this world, we will watch over and admonish one another. We will do what we can to help one another get free of old patterns. Often, what we need to break with sin is the knowledge that another person will hold us accountable (Heb. 3:12,13; 10:24,25).

When we do talk with our brother or sister, we are to “reprove” them in private. “Reprove” tends to convey a strong, scolding flavor. That is not necessarily what the Greek word is saying. The force of the original language is primarily to “expose, bring out into the open, show or demonstrate”. There are two aspects to this. One is that we bring the issue out in the open. They may not even be aware of what they have done, or realize that they sinned. The word for sin, here, is the general word, to “miss the mark”, to “commit an error”. Then, we are to explain why what the person did was wrong, or hurtful. The word, “reprove” can carry the notion of “convincing someone”, of making a case for your point. This is important, especially if what the person did is not something clearly delineated in the Bible. We need to express why we believe they something wrong.

Secondly, if the person does not listen to you, when you attempt to share with them, then you are to bring one or two others, who are there to witness the interaction. They are not to gang up on the person. They are there to observe and help moderate the communication. The goal is reconciliation, not winning an argument. Sometimes when we try to confront someone, the emotional energy or defensiveness is so powerful that it is difficult to speak or hear. These other brothers or sisters are to serve as objective observers to witness, and, if necessary, to help with the communication both ways. They are also there to confirm the discernable facts. Sometimes things appear a certain way to us, but we really don’t know what the other person’s intent may have been. In such cases, we must accept them at their word. It is important for these people to keep an open mind. There are usually two sides to most stories. Two proverbs would be good advice in this scenario, “He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him”; and, “The first to plead his case seems right, until another comes and examines him” (Prov. 18:13,17).

If there is still no resolution, then we are instructed to bring this issue before the church. Now, we must remember that in NT times this was not a large congregation of people in a religious building, with pews and a podium and all those trappings. This was a small group of serious-minded disciples gathered in someone’s home. Whatever “sin” was the original issue must not have been a major moral issue, such as in I Cor. 5:1-13, because Jesus does not recommend the same action that Paul does there. Why do we bring it to the church? Because God has given us His Holy Spirit so that spiritual people judge together spiritual things (I Cor. 2:13). So, we listen and counsel together. If the offender still disregards the counsel of the group, then he is not put out of the group. That is not what Jesus says. Rather, Jesus tells us, “Let him be to you (singular) as a Gentile and a tax collector” (Matt. 18:17). In other words, put some distance between you and that other person who has hurt you and does not seem to really understand or care what he or she has done. Don’t continue to try to be close to them, or hang out with them, because they will likely hurt you again.

Then Jesus uses language that He had mentioned in chapter 16, when Peter had made the good confession that He was the Christ, the Messiah. Jesus had said that the revelation Peter had received came from the Father, and that he was a petros, a detached stone, and upon this petra, the bedrock (referring to the truth which he had grasped) Jesus would build His gathered people, His church or ekklesia. Hade’s gates would not be able to stand against the church. Then, He said to Peter, “…and I will give to you (singular) the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be having been bound in heaven and what you loose on earth will be having been loosed in heaven.” Here, in Matthew 18, Jesus extends this authority to the remainder of the disciples. They, too, have authority to bind and loose. Peter is not the only one. Furthermore, wherever two might “sound together” in agreement from the Spirit concerning any matter which they ask, it will be done by the Father in heaven. For where two or more would be gathered in His name, Jesus is there in the midst of them. How does this fit in with the rest of the passage? Jesus seems to be undercutting any notion that Peter was more advanced than the rest, or was somehow “greater” than they. Together they make a powerful, awesome team. Together they will hear from God and be led by the Spirit. No one person can be expected to get it right all the time, but as a group they will learn to identify the “agreement” of the Spirit which will guide them to the Father’s will.